You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
