I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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