I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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