You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
