don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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