there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
