I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
