dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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