So drunk its hurt
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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