Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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