But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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