I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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