just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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