What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize