U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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