Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize