break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
