I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
