i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
