Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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