I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
