ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
