TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
cat food counts as protein by the way
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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