The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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