I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize