You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
