he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
