all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
