i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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