i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
