what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize