We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
