somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
