The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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