I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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