She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
