Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
