I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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