she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Porn is love you can see.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Sorry about my life...
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
