i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
