I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
did i just pee glitter
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize