Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Green mimosas i think yes
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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