Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
