Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
