Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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