love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
