SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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