Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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