I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
