I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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