I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
