he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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