The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize