This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
