if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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