Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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