Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
