No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My feet surprised me
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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