1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just found puke in my bra..
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
