i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
