covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
