grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
