So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
