sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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