It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
