with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
